My Reading in December

I finished my graduate school work at the beginning of December. 

While I was in school, I was always reading or rereading the books for my classes. 

And the books for my classes were quite challenging, so I devoted almost all my free time to understanding them.  

But now that I'm done with school, I can read whatever I want! 

It's glorious!  

This month alone, I've gotten so much reading done. 

I finally finished The Nine Tailors by Dorothy Sayers. I had been reading and rereading that mystery for months at night before bed, trying to figure who did the murder before I finished the book. I think I read it three times before I allowed myself to read the last few chapters. 

You may be wondering if I guessed the murderer...

Not exactly.

But I did figure out all the people who had not done the murder, so that's something.  

(You'll have to read the book to understand more.)  

Then I listened to Why Literature Still Matters by Jason Baxter and Against the Machine by Paul Kingsnorth. 

Then I read an entire book of Wendell Berry's poetry This Day: Collected and New Sabbath Poems in a little over one day. 

My appetite and enjoyment for poetry increases. George Herbert says, "a verse may find him, who a sermon flies," and I find this to be true of myself in this season of life. 

Honestly, I can read a devotional, and I am left cold. But if I pick up a book of poems, watch out! The Spirit rushes in and there will be tongues of flame flickering off my brow. 

Next, I listened to John Mark Comer's book The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. 

And now, I've started reading The Country Diary of an Edwardian Woman by Edith Holden. I found this at our library's book sale. It's a facsimile of a woman's nature journal from 1906. She painted birds and herbs and flowers in wonderful detail with watercolor. She copied poetry. She kept a record of the weather and the sights she saw on her walks. It's a real treasure! 

I'm also reading through a little book of George Herbert's poems, but I haven't finished it. The verse I included above is in one of his poems called "The Church Porch." 

Almost all the books I read this month shared a similar theme. 

They all discussed the negative affects technology has had on humanity and the need to spend more time in quiet, rest, and humane activities like reading, making art, and taking a walk in nature. 

Christmas 2025

It was a beautiful Christmas. 

 

We went to the candlelight service on Christmas Eve. 

After church, we did our Advent readings and the girls opened new pajamas. 

On Christmas morning, I baked homemade cinnamon rolls. (We also had bacon, scrambled eggs, and fresh oranges, and coffee, of course.)

We had our final Advent readings and then opened gifts. 

Watching the girls open their gifts is one of my favorite things. 

For Christmas, I got an espresso machine! 

I've had to read the manual a few times to learn how to use it and then read it again to troubleshoot. There has been much trial and error over the past few days, and honestly, there has even been some exasperated exclamations, especially over the steam features. But everyone is loving this addition to our kitchen. 

One of the girls' gifts were headband headphones. Credit goes to my professor who told me about them. The girls love them! 

We've enjoyed some amazing meals over the past few days at home: 

pan fried steak and Brussel sprouts, 

cheese and chocolate fondu,  

salt and pepper crusted prime rib with sweet roasted potatoes, 

then leftover prime rib with soft fried eggs and crispy, buttery toast. 

Yum! 

And we've slowed down: reading, napping, crocheting, building new Lego sets and playing several rounds of various boardgames including chess, Catan, Seven Wonders, and Poetry for Neanderthals. 

I love these days leading up to Christmas, and Christmas itself, and then the days after Christmas. It's been lovely to slow down and be together, spending time just enjoying life in no hurry. 

Sourdough Cont.

Norah's home for Christmas. 

So I made two loaves this time. 

She's been gone to college for the length of sourdough exploits. 

When she bit into a slice, she mumbled through a mouth full of bread, "This is mag-nif-fi-cent." 

Family Read-Alouds

Ever since Norah went to college, the quality of our family read aloud time has suffered. None of us can read aloud as well as she can though we try. Now she’s home again to read to us.

A Fitting Happiness

I just finished reading and thinking and writing on Plato's Republic for graduate school. 

In it, Socrates speaks of the true shepherd, the true guardian, the true king, etc. 

The true shepherd considers the nature of sheep and fits himself to the tasks that are required for sheep to thrive. 

So in a way, even though a shepherd is a master of sheep, a true shepherd is also a servant to sheep.

This is because a true shepherd must submit to all the realities that the task presents to him if he wishes to be to the real thing and to do the real job of shepherding. 

Contrast the true shepherd with, say, a money-making "shepherd" who reduces his work with his sheep to a money-making venture and only raises sheep to fatten them for market. 

That kind of "shepherd" probably won't do half the work a true shepherd is compelled to do. 

A true shepherd is obviously still making his livelihood off his sheep, but his profit is secondary to his primary purpose, which is caring for sheep in truth. 

And then Socrates goes on to assert that a true shepherd or guardian or king, etc. experiences a particular happiness bound up with the job they are doing. 

And a true shepherd's happiness is tied up in the how well he is shepherding and how well his sheep are doing under his care. 

His happiness is natural to his job, fitting for his job, and limited by the reality of his job within the real world. 

A shepherd doesn't get to experience the happiness of a guardian or a king.

The guardian and king would experience a different happiness. 

But if they were true guardians and kings, they also have to be servants to their task, doing what is best for the creatures or people under their care. 

Socrates's talk of this fitting happiness struck me like a bell, and it has resonated all through the Christmas season. 

Perhaps this is the reason some people never seem to be happy.

Maybe they are looking for an inappropriate or disproportionate happiness to the one nature is offering them.

Maybe they want a different happiness than the one their particular life and work can provide. 

Maybe they have never become true to the work they are doing, so therefore, they don't get to experience the fulfillment nature provides from that job well done. 

Perhaps this is also explains somewhat why those who are truly happy get to experience happiness. 

Natural happiness is always, only, ever experienced as a limited, particular, fitting happiness based in our specific reality. 

And as I have thought about the true shepherd, I find that the same thing that goes for shepherds goes for mothers. 

As a mother, I am master of my home. 

But in a real way, being a true mother means I am actually a servant to my home, bound to do what my particular family needs to thrive in reality. 

And part of my job as master and keeper of my home in this particular season is to make Christmas happen. 

At this point, I've done with all the decorating. 

I've finished the shopping and gift wrapping, so many hours of gift-wrapping.

I am planning some special cooking and baking, but that can wait. 

For now, I have some margin to my feet up and enjoy leisure and take some time to reflect on my tasks this time of year. 

And I reflect that Christmas is a lot of work for a mother. 

Each tradition, however small, represents time and energy, and it all adds up to so much labor.  

I don't think my family could possibly know how much goes into it all, because they aren't the ones responsible for doing it all. 

But they still notice it all, and it helps that they appreciate when all the little things they look forward to are done again this year just like the years before. 

So this year, as I was working, working, working at Christmas, I was just as aware as ever that Christmas is "all up to me."

But I did not feel the weight of that like I have in years past. 

I did not feel any resentment like I have in years past.  

This year, Socrates has been on my mind in the midst of all my Christmas labor.

His explanation of the true shepherd has given me some insight into the burden I am carrying to make Christmas happen. 

Therefore, this year, all the labor has felt more like a fitting privilege that goes with the reality of my motherhood more than some unnatural burden. 

In many ways, as a mom, I am the culture-maker and culture-keeper of our home. 

(In fact, culture-making and keeping might actually be the essential work of motherhood.) 

So the Christmas traditions are mine to steward as part of the work of being a true mom.  

So I have given myself over to the task and all it actually has been requiring of me in reality, and naturally, it gives me back the particular happiness that true a mother has in this season.  

That happiness that I will experience as they open the perfect present for them and cry out, "Oh, Mom! Thank you!" or that happiness when they bite into their favorite cookies: 

it is a fitting and a real happiness that goes hand in hand with my life's work. 

It's all I can reasonably ask for, and it's fitting, and I do find it deeply satisfying, indeed. 

I have not sought a different happiness than the one I have been given. 

The happiness of a mother at Christmas is mine, truly. 

And this because the work of a mother at Christmas has been mine in truth.  

First Big Snow of Winter 2025

We had our first big snow. 

And after more than twenty years here in the north, as I look outside or walk in the woods or drive by the pond, etc., I have to admit.

Winters are my favorite now. 

There's something about them that suits me and matches the quiet of my heart. 

Homeschool Community

For every picture I take of my girls with their friends, there's a group of moms behind the camera. 

And those women are my best friends. 

I'm grateful that I know and love the women who are raising my kids' best friends. 

And I'm grateful I get to know and love my kids' friends.

We all, kids and grown ups, get together and banter and laugh. 

And then we split into groups of grown ups and teens and banter and laugh with people in our age group. 

And then we come back together and banter and laugh.  

And then we all go home with our own kids and we banter and laugh in the car on the way home. 

I don't know how it is for women raising girls in a regular school setting. 

Do you get to know the parents of the kids your kids are friends with?

In a homeschool setting, we get to build an amazing community of interwoven generations and conversations and laughter. 

And memories. 

For every picture like this, I remember standing shoulder to shoulder with my dearest friends.