Winter Joy

I am really enjoying this winter in Connecticut.

It's not like I have never felt joy in winter here, but the winter joys in previous years were isolated to brief moments here and there. 

This year is remarkably different; I am truly loving every moment of winter for the first time in my entire life! 

I have a few ideas as to why this is the case. Some are related to body; Others are related to soul:

First, we just got back from weeks in Florida. Maybe getting away to a warm place simply takes some of the edge off winter.

But second, we replaced all the windows and the roof last year. Our house is dramatically more secure from the cold and my body is not struggling to stay warm while I'm inside. 

Third, I'm healthier than I have been in years. My body is not constantly struggling against overwhelming infections. After more than a year of intense Lyme treatment, I am finally winning against the disease. My capacity for joy seems to increase as my body recovers its vitality.  

Forth, after over twenty years here, I finally feel that CT is my home, and maybe I have finally had enough years in CT to begin to recognize the winter sights as signs of home. The electric blue sky, the bright green moss, the sun going down and casting rays over the stark landscape, the pond frozen over, the weeds with their branches and seed pods covered in ice or snow- I'm used to these sights now, and they bring me a sense of nostalgic joy over their unique beauties. 

Fifth, I've slowed way down. I don't have the stressful commitments that I compelled myself to keep in previous years. Those commitments added hours of stressful work to our daily lives without much pay. I finally realized that the benefits of those things no longer warranted the costs. Now we have time to move through the world at a more humane pace. I don't resent winter for slowing me down now, because I am already going slower. 

Sixth and final, I have lowered my expectations. This goes along with slowing down and giving up stressful commitments. I have simply stopped expecting so much from myself, from others, from life in general, and odd as this sounds, this has led to an increase in my soul's contentment and thankfulness. When you aren't expecting so, so much, you aren't looking at life like something's wrong with it all the time. You begin to see what you do have as a gift. Then you can begin to see how much is right and and how much is, in fact, really, really good- including winter!