I have been obedient, painfully so. I have been seeking, almost relentlessly. So, I was expecting God to bless... me. Yet, He has been almost pouring Himself out on my husband lately, so much so that I got jealous over what God was doing in Dwayne's life.

Quietly then, God's Spirit rested a firm but gentle hand on my shoulder and asked me, "Is there any greater blessing you can think of, something that will bless you more... than a husband who is filled with my Spirit?"

"...the two shall become one flesh." So they are no longer two, but one.

As Dwayne goes, I follow. As he leads, so goes our entire family. As he grows, I am blessed.

These cookies are very easy to throw together and very, very yummy. Using Devil's Food cake mix makes chewy, decadent chocolate cookies. The powdered sugar adds just the right amount of sweetness... and mess. Don't eat these cookies while wearing a nice shirt. It's hard to keep the sugar from sprinkling down as you take bites and when you go to brush the sugar off, it just makes a bigger mess. But, it's oh so worth it... Trust me.

Cool Whip Cookies

Cake mix of your choice. (We like to use Devil's Food chocolate).
One 8 ounce container of whipped topping.
Two Eggs
1 Cup Powdered Sugar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray your baking sheets. Beat together the whipped topping and the eggs. Add the cake mix of your choice and keep mixing. Dough will be thick and a little difficult to turn by hand. It's easier if you have an electric mixer. Drop the dough by spoonfuls into a bowl of confectioners sugar and roll them until they are coated with the sugar. Place the cookies on a prepared baking sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 8 to 10 minutes. Cookies will expand as they cook and then fall as they cool. Let them sit on the baking sheet for a minute or two after you pull them out of the oven, then gently transfer them to a wire rack to cool completely.

The woman was a coworker of mine. I thought she was a friend. I knew she was troubled, that she had a past or rather, a present. She was a single lady, currently using and being used by a few different men in her life. She felt comfortable confiding in me about what was going on and I meant to help her. I knew that at least a portion of her suffering was of her own devices, since she enjoyed the night life, but I tried not to judge her too harshly for this. I thought her appetite was only natural since she wasn't following after the Lord.

I was building a friendship with her when, by chance, she met Dwayne. He'd come to visit me at work and she'd passed us in the hall. A day or so later, she and I were sitting and talking at length, like we did. She began with compliments about what a Godly husband I had and what a great match I had made in him, but somehow, perhaps by force of habit for her, her attitude changed towards me. She was challenging me all of a sudden, woman to woman. She smirked and taunted and asked boldly, directly, "What would you do if I came on to your husband?"

I didn't hesitate to answer her, in fact, the words just poured out. But, before I did, it was like time slowed down for me and I had the chance to look at her, to study her face and register that she was, in fact, being very serious, gravely serious. I had time to be disturbed, had time for my spirit to be rattled to the core because it was as if it wasn't just her speaking, but also some strong demonic force looking out from her eyes, asking me what I would do if someone attempted to break up my home.

I can't remember what it is that I said, exactly, but it may have started with the words "Get thee behind me." I know I looked her straight in the eyes and I quoted at least some of the last portion of Proverbs 6 and a large portion of Chapter 7 from memory, apparently, and with a finger pointed in her face. But, the funny thing is, I don't know Proverbs 6 and 7. I still don't know it. I've never memorized it. So... the words just came to me. At the time, I had no way of explaining what happened when I answered her question. It was against my character to be so forceful then, though I've changed a lot over the years... But, now, I would say that I must have been filled with the Holy Spirit and He must have given me the words I needed to rebuke her.

She didn't come back to work the next day. I wasn't surprised by that. But, after a few days, I asked where she'd been and I was told that she'd quit, given no notice and wouldn't be coming back.

Fast forward several years.



I see this video for the first time and hear the lyrics, "He is jealous for me. Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy..." And, thinking about them, the storm of emotions from that day hit me again. I made the connection that it is, at times, perfectly God-like to get angry, to be jealous, to insist on singularity, to fight for what is best for someone we love.

For example, I have cut a covenant with my Dwayne. When we married, the promises we made were binding and God cut a covenant with us. I love Dwayne better than any woman and because of that, I want what is best for him. I am confident that I am what is best for him, since I am his wife before God. I have a right to be jealous over him. In fact, it is only right that I am jealous for him and insist on singularity in our love. It wouldn't be loving if I didn't get angry and fight when some she-devil expressed a strong desire to ship wreck my husband's life, our life together, our family, our childrens' home, with her seduction.

And, just like that, God is jealous for us. He's made a covenant with us. He has made promises that He will not break. And, He loves us better than anyone, wants the best for us and knows that it is, in fact, He that is best for us. So, He has a right to be jealous. In fact, it is only right that He is jealous and gets angry when someone tries to ruin our lives or tries to divert us from His will. And, more than anything, because He loves us so much and has committed so much of Himself to us, He can insist on a singularity in our love for Him.

"I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God... You shall have no other Gods before me."

Talking, playing and smiling at us.

Avril's rolling around, pulling herself around and just about to start crawling.

My resolutions for twenty-ten, in no specific order.


Let Norah play outside.
I am realizing it doesn't have to be a picture-perfect day. That's what coats are for. And, it doesn't have to be a formal activity like an outing to the park or a hike in the state forest. Norah needs to be free to simply explore her own backyard. We have a great stretch of rocks and woods out back, grand enough to inspire any five year old's imagination.

Keep a garden.
I didn't get to do this in '09, since Avril was born right when I needed to plant my vegetables.

Listen to Scripture.
I really don't have time to read it, especially since I blog incessantly. But, I have the Bible on CD and I think I will try and listen to it while I am in the kitchen. I may actually hear more Scripture this way, since I am in there all the time.

Pray.
I plan to use two books as "guides." The Power of a Praying Wife is an all-time favorite with notes in the margins and pages well-worn. The other book, The Power of a Praying Parent, I've had for years, but it still looks brand new, to my shame. I'd also like to spend more time being quiet before God. I hear from Him often, but His spirit always has to break through the noise to say anything to me. I am beginning to wonder how much more He could impress upon my heart if I stopped using prayer as a time to ask for things and used at least some of the time to just sit and listen.

Sew.
I have several projects planned, all the materials just sitting, waiting to be used. I'd like to make curtains for some of our windows, decorative pillow cases, quilts, etc.

Collect books and music.
It may sound ridiculous, but I need to spend more money on these things. I am constant need of new music for work. I use the same old CDs again and again, so my fitness classes are starting to moan. I also never get around to buying the reading books I plan to collect for the girls. I usually wait until the end of a pay period to consider these purchases, when my discretionary funds are too low to justify the costs. I need to start purchasing these things right after I get paid so that I won't "waste" the money I want to spend on something else.

Call my friends.
I'm so independent that I actually tend to be selfish. I need to be a better friend and call the people that I love more often.

Keep my room clean.
It's one of the places in my house where stuff gets piled up. I'd like it to look nicer, remain neater, smell better, etc. so going in there would feel like more of a retreat.

Teach Norah to swim.
She's always getting better, but I'd like it if she could swim well enough and with enough confidence for me to "leave" her in the water and just watch from the deck or hold her sister who really does need the one-on-one attention in the pool.

Attend more home school group activities. This way, both Norah and I can make new friends and continue building the friendships we've already got.

Lighten Dwayne's load around the house. Stop complaining that he isn't doing the work and start doing some of the stuff myself, such as painting the new doors and base boards, maybe even cutting the grass... once.

Read to Avril. It's easy to spend all my free time reading to Norah, especially since her stories are new and more interesting to me and since we read as a part of her home school lessons. But, Avril deserves some of the same one-on-one, lap-time with her baby, board books that Norah got when she was little.

Talk to Norah.
I'm with her all day. Almost everything I do is about her or for her or with her, but it still seems like she doesn't get to say all she needs to say to me. Without a doubt, she chooses the worst times to open up, but that is when I need to stop what I am doing, look in her eyes, listen, show real interest in what she is saying and talk back.

Do you have any resolutions for this next year?