God is in the process of showing me that humility looks different than what I thought it looked like, entirely.
Until recently, honestly, I thought that I could learn humility without ever having to suffer actual humiliation.
I guess I always thought the road to humility should leave my pride intact.
Or that humility would lead (fairly straightly) to my being exalted before men.
I laugh at myself now that I realize these things and say them all out loud.
But God is leading me into one circumstance after another that is shattering these misconceptions.
I am beginning to see that humility is more like:
bearing up under the knowledge that others have judged and even condemned me,
not contending with to the proud,
holding my tongue when someone is using theirs to tear me to pieces,
even praying blessings upon those who curse me,
and leaving room for the all-important possibility that I could be wrong even when I feel that it's the most unlikely.
Humility is downright humiliating!
With a poor spirit I realize that for me to respond as I should and be humble, genuinely, requires more faith in God than I have, usually.
May He grant me all the strength I'll need to wait under His mighty hand again and again and again!
"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God and He will exalt you in due time." -1 Peter 5