Tuesday, February 3, 2009

"A classical education (in the early years) assumes that knowledge of the world past and present takes priority over self expression. Intensive study of facts equips the student for fluent and articulate self expression later on. Too close a focus on self-expression at an early age can actually cripple a child later on; a student who has always been encouraged to look inside himself may not develop a frame of reference, a sense of how his ideas measure up against the thoughts and beliefs of others."

I came across this portion of The Well Trained Mind by Jessi and Susan Wise Bauer. As soon as I read the words, particularly those at the end of the quote, I thought of all the bad American Idol auditions I've seen. The one question I can't help but ask the TV screen out loud when I watch any of the episodes: "How can so many grown people still believe they are good singers?" I am even more amazed when the worst singers walk away without a ticket to Hollywood cursing the judges as idiots... or worse. If you listen closely to their rants, you'll notice some of them honestly think that if they just believe in themselves enough, everyone else will be convinced of their talent, however gradually. Obviously, their education and experiences have not equipped them with a reliable "frame of reference."



When I was young, I had aspirations of being a music phenom like every other twelve year old girl who sings into a hair brush with her best friends at sleep overs. But, eventually, I had to come to grips with my talent or lack thereof. Luckily, I was somehow equipped along the way with a combination of good sense and humility enough to know that other people's opinions really do count, sometimes. Maybe this is because incorrect answers on my failing tests in school were actually marked wrong... and with red ink. Gasp! I guess I also had genuine, loving friends or teachers who told me the truth (or gently hinted at it along the way), so when I didn't make the choir my junior year of public high school, I didn't walk away from the tryouts mumbling "What an idiot" the director was. I took that rejection as a sign that I should pour myself into other endeavors.

I want my daughter to have the grit to pursue her dreams and develop potential, even in the face of opposition, but I also want her to live well-grounded in reality. My husband and I believe homeschooling can give her the education and experiences that will best prepare her for the real world. Being taught outside the system and growing up apart from the masses of also-ignorant peers allows students to develop unique points of view and when necessary, hold opinions other than those in the majority. But, at the same time, I've seen that the opposite can be true.

Homeschooling families, secular and religious alike, can simply dismiss any outside opinion, no matter how widely held or how valid. Parents can so censure the influences and information they present to their children that they virtually reinvent the world. These habits aren't limited to home educators alone, even our professional counterparts are tempted, encouraged or even threatened at times to avoid certain subjects and strategies in their classrooms. But, I don't want Norah to grow up in a fantastic reality that she creates for herself or worse yet, a false reality that exists only in our home, one that I have simply manufactured for her. In teaching our kids at home, we are free to use every worthy resource, every valid opinion, any method that works to help our children create the most balanced, sturdy "frame of reference" with which they will reach their fullest potential. So, let's do that.

5 comments:

gina said...

I am teaching my children to listen and weigh and not to hold one opinion or thought as an absolute truth- whether it be their own or an outside one.

Also, I think it says something or the rewarding every little moment mentallity of families and school systems... Every one gets "awards" for everything. Every player on the team gets "recognized" for participating... Some things you just do because you have to (or want to) and sometimes in life there ARE people that are better at one thing than another person is.

Veronica Boulden said...

I know. I used to think I knew everything. But, the older I get, the more I realize how little I know. I hope I instill that kind of humility in Norah, especially in a spiritual sense. I do believe in truth, but I also realize my applications of truths are usually tainted.

I could probably go on about this topic for pages! This "everyone is a winner" mentality is everywhere today and for the life of me, I don't see how so many people are accepting it. I was reading the back of the Frosted Flakes box just this morning and it said, "If you do your best, you will always be a winner." It's nonsense. And, I think I would have known that even as a kid.

dianne - bunny trails said...

I have never watched AI in my life, by OH. MY. GOSH. Proof positive that raising children in such an inward-focused, everyone's a winner mentality just doesn't cut it. Sadly, that nonsense does nothing to prepare them for life. It's an enormous disservice to the next generation to bring them up like that.

I love that homeschooling provides us opportunities to counter the foolishness of the world. I definitely want my kids to persevere and have dreams and goals, but I also want them to be prepared for life, which isn't always pretty, isn't always fair, and isn't always about them. It's a balance that some of these kids never get.

Veronica Boulden said...

Dianne,
I've watched the show on and off through the years. I couldn't find it online, but I remember one try out in particular. A grown man was still living at home, pursuing his dream. He thought he was going to be the next superstar and didn't even know how arrogant he sounded before the audition while being interviewed. He was terrible and the judges gently told him so, for his sake. He stormed out in saying nasty things, in tears and into his aging mom's arms. She said, "Don't worry, Honey, you will be the greatest. You are the best. You will make it." I wondered why his mom was there with him anyway... He was in his later twenties, I think. The same age my husband and I were at the time, sitting with our infant watching the show. Then, I figured it out. His mom maintained the only environment he could thrive in, so he stayed close to her. She was the only one who told him what he wanted to hear, etc. As much as we moms, homeschooling or not, seek to shelter our children, we CANNOT shelter them to the degree that we handicap them like this.

Anna said...

You make an interesting point, and I do remember that particular young man, and his enabling mother.
I always figured the Idol contestants, from my perspective, that people DO say "that was so wonderful" when it really wasn't.
At least in my experience, most people are MORE dependent on external validation than they should be. And I can see how this is an outcome of the public school system- grades and hall passes, you're not allowed to have individual thought.
I did need the reminder to balance the scales for my own children, so thanks for sharing with the carnival!