Friday, July 9, 2010

Norah's first Slurpee.

My older brother is addicted to the game Farmville. 7-11 was selling promotional items that provided Farmville players or fans or whatever it is they are called with extra points or fuel or whatever it is that Farmville uses...

So, my brother calls me up and asks me to drive to 7-11 and get certain products so he can have the codes off the back of the packages. I laugh at him and say mean things and hang up on him because he must be kidding, right?

He calls me back a few days later and asks again. I tell him to go to... 7-11 himself. His answer to this is, "The closest 7-11 to where I live is two hundred miles away." I say, "Well, I don't know if there is a 7-11 near my house either?!" He says, "There is one five minutes from you" and he rattles off the street address by heart.

And, I realize by this answer that he has not only done more than one Google maps search to find out where the closest 7-11 is to me, he's also not kidding about me buying him products so he can have the codes. I said some more means things to him and hung up the phone again. What kind of nut would expect me to drop what I am doing and... Wait? Did he say "Slurpee?!"

So, I called him back and agreed to buy his products on two conditions; first, that he pay for them and second, that he release me from every promise I made to him when I was five and when I begged him for the candy or the toy or the money or whatever it was that he had that I wanted that caused me to want to basically sell all my birthrights to him back then!!!

He hesitated. These promises I made had become precious him and he enjoyed annoying me with them through the years and holding them over my head and bringing them up at family get-togethers.

But, I didn't back down. I played my hand. I told him, in my most serious voice, "You have the power to choose" and said that I'd let him think about it for a little while, but that I was going to call him back after dinner and that he should pick up the phone because I didn't know whether or not I'd change my mind about the whole thing.

He growled at me like a wounded animal, but I hung up anyway. I was the one making the deals now. (Evil laughter).

I called him back after dinner and he answered on the first ring. He agreed to my conditions and not only that, but I put him on speaker phone and made him tell my whole family out loud; both our parents and my husband, that I was released from those promises we had all heard about one million times and that he would promise to never bring them up again.

It was a terrible day for my brother.

It was a day of great victory for me.

It was a day my family will laugh about forever.

And, it was the day Norah had her first Slurpee.

Thank you, Uncle Donnie.

Now we're even.

(Evil laughter).

No comments: